Burger King Stole My Man Card With Lame Twilight Cup

Conversion lessons learned from wimpy cups

I wanted a burger today at lunch. So I went to the king of burgers, a la Burger King.

I didn’t notice it until after I got back to the office, set the cup on my desk and pulled out the French fries.

Twilight characters were staring at me.

That Jacob guy (yes, I had to double check his name, I thought he was Edward) that all the girls swoon over, he was staring at me with dreamy eyes beneath my straw. And that girl on the movie, she was staring at me every time I grabbed a fry.

All I wanted was a manly burger and some fries to fuel me through the afternoon. That’s it. But now I had to be surrounded by the latest in the Twilight saga, too?

Come on!

Where are the A-Team cups when you need them?

My manliness was deflated by dreamy Edward. At least they could have given me the cup with the girl on it.

Then I did something unexpected. The cups and fry box had peel-off stickers to win instantly and play some game. I pulled both of them off and looked to see if I won anything. Nothing. With my manliness completely dead now, I threw them in the trash.

The King should be ashamed.

I don’t know the demographic of Burger King. But my guess is a lot of its customers are guys like me who would rather not hear about Twilight anything — guys who just want a burger, and maybe an extra dose of manliness.

Hey, Burger King, do you think Old Spice would ever do something with Twilight? Heck No.

Now, I like Burger King. But, I’m not going back until those Twilight cups are gone. This is all about a simple rule of website conversion: Give your visitors what they want. At Burger King, we don’t want Twilight cups. However, I did pull off a sticker. Maybe, regardless of anything else, the possibility of winning free stuff overrides any weaknesses. Which actually means a lot for websites.

What do you think? Did Burger King make a mistake? Or am I just an idiot to even care so much? And please comment if you like these Twilight cups. I might only slightly make fun of you.

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5 Comments

  1. JAnderson says

    I agree with you, when you think of massive flame broiled burgers you don’t envision metrosexual males with pale skin and sparkles. Usually you would picture something a bit more manly. It seems as if BK lost in the movie marketing bidding wars, and was left with the pale crumb at the bottom of the pile.

    As for the A-Team cups you mentioned, if they are still available they can be found at Del Taco, where manliness still lives.

    Although I am sad for your loss, you did manage to save a few of us, and we can now avoid BK and protect what little manliness remains in the world.

    And for any guys out there that are on the fence about this, just remember. . . Real men don’t sparkle!

  2. Luke Hopkin says

    Dude….one word…Fudruckers. Besides the burgers i make on my own grill, about as manly a burger as you can get is a 1/2 pound buffalo burger from ol’ Fud.

  3. Elsie says

    Even worse the kids meals “toys”, Burger King taking the man cards of even young boys. I can’t wait for this dumb franchise to be over.

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