A few months ago, I posted 7 SEO idiots and subsequently received myriad ideas for other SEO idiots. Below you'll find 12 more SEO idiots with dialogue and oatmeal-like depictions. Thank you to everyone who submitted ideas. For those ideas I've used, I've given the comment author a link.
Poor Link Requester
Three years ago, I remember hearing that 3-way link exchanges would be the new wave of linkbuilding. Unfortunately, those who still request these types of link exchanges are behind the curve. Many SEO idiots who request these link exchanges, ask for a link from your main homepage and only offer you a pathetic link on their affiliate site's links page.
Submitted by Jim Rudnick
These SEOs had their glory days in the late 90s. They were able to game even the best of search engines. However, getting SEO results in the late 90s has no bearing on the ability to achieve rankings today. Many of these SEOs focus on meta keywords and keyword stuffing. Stay away from these old-timers.
Submitted by Jill Kocher
Blackhatter Who Continuously Raises SE Flags
I'm not out to bash any particular SEO company here, especially in lieu of recent events. But, let's be honest, blackhat or greyhat practices don't just hurt the reputation of the offending SEO company--poor practices also hurt the entire SEO industry.
Submitted by Gary Young
Garage SEO with a Confidential Client List
If no client list exists, that can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either he/she signed a confidentiality agreement with his/her clients or he/she doesn't have any clients worth mentioning. I'm going to guess it's the latter. Lack of a company website should be a good red flag that the individual has no idea what he/she is doing.
Submitted by Eric Miltsch
The "I won't come to your office for less than $5000" SEO
Evidently, there are some pompous individuals in the industry. More power to them. Even if an SEO can provide incredible results and charge high prices, that doesn't give him permission to treat others with a "holier than thou" attitude.
Submitted by Warner Carter
Much like the Blackhatter above, the Backlink Buyer makes a living from buying and selling links. While this SEO may be good at staying ahead of Google's spam net, his tactics will eventually be discovered.
Submitted by Bill Bolmeier
These SEOs are thinkers but never doers. They'll talk your ear off about new, innovative techniques and how they could pull off the "perfect" campaign. But when it comes to actually doing the work, they never perform.
Submitted by Jonas
Web Designer SEO
These yahoos are similar to the Conversion Expert who thinks that conversion optimization will somehow result in higher rankings. Admittedly, I used to be one of these SEOs. If someone is making design recommendations to improve SEO, this person is probably a web developer who has merely dabbled in SEO.
Submitted by NatC
Moon on a Stick SEO
These SEOs are great. They can make huge ranking promises with unbelievable guarantees or warranties. However, their contracts' fine print usually mentions that they'll only get rankings for long-tail or obscure keyphrases.
Submitted by theWebalyst
Off Page Only SEO
Contrasting the Sparkling, White Hat SEO, this SEO prefers to do off-page SEO only. In fact, this SEO probably has no clue how to perform on-page optimization. Good luck trying to get him to do keyword research and on-page SEO.
Submitted by Afzal Khan
Because SEO is one of those things that can be compartmentalized into specific packages (NOT), this SEO has taken the packaging syndrome to a whole new level. He makes it easy on you by allowing you to choose from an internet marketing menu of sorts. Don't get me wrong, many SEO 'tasks' can be packaged, but SEO as a whole, is too complex and constantly changing to be easily segmented into basic packages.
Submitted by Daniel Dessinger
The PPC Guy SEO has never learned what the word, "organic," means. Hey, PPC is basically the same as SEO, right? At least that what he thinks. He believes his expert PPC skills fully qualify him as an SEO expert as well.
Submitted by Rasmus Himmelstrup